Monday, June 4, 2012

Human Candy Land

Hello, intrepid blog readers (I really hate the term followers-it makes me feel like a cult leader) it has been a while. I will be out of pocket a little bit (as I have recently with end-of-school craziness) over the next few weeks making Vacation Bible School decorations. Before I disappear into the VBS mist, I would like to relate our family adventure from last night. 

The youngest child, who enjoys categorizing things, showed up with some paper.

“I have seven pieces each of seven colors of paper,” she said.

“Excellent,” I said.

“What should I do with them?”

“Make a mosaic,” I suggested. Very unhelpful suggestion, as I then had to go into the description of mosaics and their creation.

“What if I make something with the pieces just like they are,” she asked. “Like a path?”

“That looks like a Candy Land path,” I said.

“Ooooohhhhh, I know! Stay here!” And she ran off with the paper squares.

About twenty minutes later, the rest of us were rounded up and instructed to join her for a “Real, human-sized Candy Land game!”

She had created a cone of paper and written numbers "1-6" on little scraps of paper and put them in the cone.

“Line up back here and then you each draw a number,” she said.

We had, stretched before us, a pathway of colored paper up the stairs and into the vast unknown that is our upstairs.

As the middle child kicked things off with a respectable “4” her father was hot on her heels and landed on the same spot. I pulled a pitiful “3” and the oldest landed right behind me on “2”. Inauspicious start.


Soon I was in the proverbial dust. The middle kid was a “6” machine, heading up the stairs in record time. Interestingly, my hubby routinely landed on the same square.

“Again! Why does it always happen to me,” the middle child wailed! Oh, the drama.

Soon the rest of the family left me in their wake as I kept pulling “1”, “2” or occasionally a “3”. And, they noticed.

“Wow, Mommy’s still on green!”

“Where’d Mommy go? Ooooohhhhhh, there she is, waaaaaayyyyyyy back there.”

“She’s going to get tired, running back and forth with the numbers from Mommy all the way up to US!”

Hardy-har-har-har! Apparently, the kids have reached the age of sarcasm. Sniff, sniff… I am so proud! Wait, I was the target. Hmmmm.

They are dusting me!
As they marched up the stairs and to the upper floor, they continued the barrage of insults as the youngest ran up and down the stairs with her cone of numbers for us to draw.

“Hey, are you adding extra “2s” to that thing before you let Mommy draw? Hahahahahaha!”

The next time I drew, the youngest said, “Please Mommy, pleeeeease draw a “5” or a “6” pleeeaaase!”

I drew a “5” and was off the ground floor.

“Hooray, Mommy graduated from the floor,” said the middle child with a smirk.

I'm on the stairs now! Almost to the top!
“Wow, Mommy actually drew a five? Really?” Thank you, my darling oldest.

The game took a dramatic twist as the pathway led into the youngest child’s room. They all forgot about the number-challenged matriarch as a challenge was announced.

“If you land on the same square in this room, you must duel!” Oh, the middle child was in trouble because it was her father who had, again, landed on the same square.

“Okay, let’s duel,” he said, and she attacked him. I couldn’t see it all clearly because I was so far back on the path, but I did hear him yell, “no flying kicks!”

At any rate, he drew the next number that landed him exactly on the final square and he was declared the winner after a brief challenge by the oldest.

winner, winner, chicken dinner!
The youngest was very sweet and said, “Mommy, you can keep picking numbers until you get to the end.”

“That’s okay, thanks.”

“Mommy, did you lose on purpose?” Sweet girl.

My view at the end of the game!
As soon as we finished the game, the youngest stood on a bean bag and made herself heard:

“I have an announcement! Tomorrow before dinner we will be having another activity! A funny trick or magic trick at six-o’clock.”

I have no doubt that this will occur at exactly 6:00. This is from the child who routinely hangs up signs like this:

Stay tuned for more fun!


Anonymous said...

I can't wait to see the rules for the new hot selling game "No Flying Kicks"!

Emily said...

Maybe Hasbro will start selling it!

More Hijinks...